Tuesday, April 04, 2006

EXCLUSIVE: Casting News For Gink Gonk Sequel


Craig Test For Gink Gonk Versus The Cosmic Brain

Daniel Craig has already signed to join the cast of Gink Gonk Versus The Cosmic Brain. The 007 star will play cockney prostitute, Mary Meadows; a role originally written for Burt Reynolds. Reynolds backed out of the project, when it was revealed that he would be required to go topless.

'We are delighted to have Daniel Craig onboard, as he is a fine actor and capable of playing the most challenging of roles,' said Gink Gonk's producer, Rudy Marshall, at a press conference in Wellington.

Already, there has been much chin-wagging across the Internet as to Craig's suitability for the role of the East End harlot.

Sir Ian McKellan recently said in defence of Craig's casting: 'A marvellous, fabulous young actor, who will bring all the sordid naughtiness required for the role. He [Craig] recently observed my performance as Widow Twanky in the pantomime, Aladdin, at the Old Vic. He said that he would use my performance as a template. Lovely boy! I am sure he will have the last laugh in the end.' High praise, indeed!

Gink Gonk Versus The Cosmic Brain will be in production at the end of the year. Expect a mammoth budget of $5,299 to be expended on this much vaunted, highly anticipated movie.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Gink Gonk Rapidly Rises Up The DVD charts!


A 'Gink Gonk' fan with his newly purchased DVD. The
guy was shortly arrested for running around the streets
of Tokyo naked. Enthused he must have been.

Gink Gonk is rapidly climbing up the DVD charts in Mongolia, where CDi still reigns as the media player of choice. However, even with the dominance of CDi, Gink Gonk has reached the second position on the DVD charts, after selling a staggering 526 copies nationwide. With continuing sales like this, it is not surprising that there is talk of a scaled-down sequel to quench the thirst of Gonk fans worldwide.

Monday, March 27, 2006

The Gink Gonk DVD Released!


Beer Mats Included With Every DVD!
After a long wait, fans throughout Central Asia are racing to their nearby DVD stores in the hope of grabbing a copy of the newly released, Gink Gonk. The queues have been staggering, with groups of five geeky looking males loitering outside the stores for days.

Gink Gonk, the movie sensation across Uzbekistan, has yet to reach the $5,000 box office it expected in the United States. However, gradual word of mouth has brought an increased amount of interest, especially from St. Joseph's Missionary Outpost in Montana, which houses four Trappist monks.

The DVD set includes several exclusive behind the scenes documentaries, as well as a snazzy set of beer mats and jungle sunglasses (vine-rapped for those that wish to look de-vine.....get it?). These items will sell like hotcakes at comic conventions for decades to come, so you better get purchasing, before they are snapped up.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

GINK GONK: First Reviews From Around The World


Gonk Versus The Hamsters

"In the history of cinema, never has a beast so tawdry and cheap look so magnificently inadequate." - Lyp O. Suction, Warsaw News

"Plastic dinosaurs come to life and almost trigger our imagination." - Bellamy Horsecart, Oxford Student Express Weekly

"Gink Gonk is a film for all generations, except the elderly, middle-aged and children." - Rupert Haemorrage, The Morning Star

"Gink Gonk is terrific fun; especially when the closing titles come up." - Mary Cloptarkinpork, The Vienna Gazette

"Thumbs up when they should really be down, as I have no self-control over my digits, due to a motor-neural complaint!" - Roger Revert, Chicago Tribunal

"Fantastic! The best of the Harry Potter series!" - Akira Tachikawa, Masanori Post

"Nipples have never looked so poignant as they do on Gonk. They will make the stoniest heart weep when the light is finally extinguished from them FOREVER!" - Dolly Langlesticks, Louisiana Weekly

"Gink Gonk is a movie that will be forgotten by millions. It will stand out as a movie that will be the benchmark for movies not to be made. A true classic." - Mukubu Ralu, Mali Post

"The entrance charge was worth every penny of someone elses wallet!" - Jeffery Slumber, Washington Morning Herald

"Don't be fooled, lover boys, that this is a date movie. We were transfixed from beginning to end by Gonk's magnificent nipples. Sir Richard Karlson Ogilvy (RKO) and Andy were brilliant in there control of the mighty 60 foot marionette from within those dark nipples." - Andy Timpy, Fang Burst Magazine

SENSATIONAL! Gink Gonk Is A Box Office Giant!

'Gink Gonk', the tale in which clumsiness kills the beast, has raked in over $1,253 since its premiere in Ulaan Bator, Mongolia! Crowds of 50 have been storming show tents throughout Mongolia and Siberia. There are high hopes that 'Gink Gonk' will also reign supreme in Kashgar and Timbuktu.

I know that all you staunch Gonk fans will be delighted by this news. In fact, talks of a sequel have already started with a lottery winner from Iowa. As you may remember, there was a preliminary poster design for 'Gink Gonk Versus The Cosmic Brain'.

Monday, December 05, 2005

EXCLUSIVE: Photographs From The World Premiere Of Gink Gonk

As many of you already would have heard, the "other" major premiere happening this month is the release of 'Gink Gonk'. While Peter is embroiled in the media frenzy in New York, our crew and performers have been overwhelmed by the crowds and media attention we have received in Ulaan Bator, Mongolia, where 'Gink Gonk' has been released. I know that many of you are desperate to see shots from the premiere, so I am happy to share some with you. It was certainly a bigger event than "that" other bash!

The entertainment was spectacular.


Movie geeks arrive from all corners of Mongolia.



Preparations for the big night.


A local official begins the celebrations by singing a Sinatra number.


The crowds barge in to see the epic.



Major stars in attendence; including an American expat,
working as an English teacher.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Check The Archives!

Lots of juicy Gink Gonk tales and images.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Post Production On Gonk Begins!


Peter Jackson editing Gink Gonk.

One of Pete's favourite filmmaking processes is Editing. On the Lord Of The Rings, he applied the complicated and entirely risk-free process of Digital Editing. Now, for Pete, there really is no fun at all in that, so he has reverted to the good old fashion process of splicing and taping. Somewhat time consuming and expensive, Peter is now in his element, with mountains of unfurled film piling up around him.


Sequencing the scene edits for Gink Gonk.

Unless you have your fingers on every canister, there is a very real danger that the odd Jack Black footage or that bit of Naomi Watts will get left out of all the hullabaloo, scattered upon the cutting room floor. Unfortunately, Pete's decided to cut out some of my own fine work. God only know's why!