Tuesday, March 22, 2005

UNBELIEVABLE! Jackson Throws A Banana Party

As somewhat of an old school thespian, who has seen his fair share of dabbling with fruity substances, I was most shocked that Peter should throw such a debauched affair as a banana party to wrap the principle photography on Gonk! Many of you have shown a great deal of sympathy for the plight that Jack Black has gone through with his banana addiction. It has tainted what was a most enjoyable shoot.

Unfortunately, it would appear that the banana issue has taken control of everyone in the cast and crew. Even lovely Naomi Watts has fallen under the wicked control of elongated, yellow fruits.

I cannot believe that after the horrific treatments that Jack went through at the hospital, he has quickly returned to inserting bananas up his nostrils. What a tragic, tragic loss of self control!

Damn Andy and his bananas!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Jack Black Gets Banana Stuck Up Nose

The Tragic Incident On Set

Andy Serkis has developed several tricks involving bananas. It was fun at the start, but the cast is somewhat tired of inserted fruits. I can't tell you how much I don't want to see him push a banana through his left nostril and out of his mouth again. Once was more than enough.

Jack just seems increasingly obsessed by the nostril trick, and has tried to reproduce it himself. Unfortunately, he ended up in casualty the other day, because the tip of a particularly large offending yellow fruit got lodged.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Global Partner Summit For Gink Gonk

I was amazed by the large group of people who have been flown in to see some early footage of Gonk. It was dazzling and encouraging, to say the least.

Pete asked me if I would do a little reading of the script for the visitors, after the WETA marionette demo. He wanted to give them a little taste of the theatrics involved in the production. I was delighted to offer my professional thesping services, and took up the opportunity to showcase myself as much as the movie. Well, when one has his audience, it is hard for one to be removed from the stage! The spotlights are simply impossible for me to resist.

Of course, I did not tell Pete that I would perform three acts from King Lear, two from Macbeth and a couple of song and dance numbers from Cats, with backing tracks.

The Gonk stuff seemed to go down very well, but I am still a little miffed as to why the audience left after the second act from Lear. Very strange! Anyhow, I continued with my little programme, with just Peter slumped in one of the chairs. He seemed quite enamoured, as his eyes seemed glazed over.

After I completed my little performance, Pete clapped rather mechanically, got up and walked out. I followed suit, and headed to a group of visitors, who were now busy munching on cheese and guzzling down the cheap New Zealand wine that was available. (Personally, I prefer a good Bordeaux or Chianti.) As soon as I approached them, they seemed to snort at me and walk off, joining Naomi and Jack (who was on Absinthe, again).

One journo had the cheek to tell me that he thought I had died, several years ago!!! Good grief! I am most perplexed by their behaviour, as one would expect. I'll give Sir Ian a bell tonight, and find out if he experienced such rudeness.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

PREVIEW! Early Sequel Concept

Even before the release of Gink Gonk, Pete is busy conjuring up possible ideas for a sequel. Supposedly, it will focus on the devious plans of the mad Doctor Zeus, who transplants an alien brain into a mighty robot. Gonk is resurrected by a voodoo priest in the US military, and through mystical powers, controlled to battle against Doctor Zeus' dastardly creation.

Both Andy and I are delighted to have a job in the coming years. A thespian's life is one of uncertain prospects. Thank you, darling, darling Peter.

Monday, March 07, 2005

SENSATIONAL! Gonk Versus The Mighty Hamsters

Gonk Versus The Hamsters

Many people had assumed that there would be a big T-Rex battle with Gonk. Well, here's what really happens. Both Andy and I have been working damn hard on this within the Gonk Marionette.


Gonk carries a terrified Ann Darrow deeper into the mysterious forest behind the wall. Strange prehistoric flying reptiles circle in the sky above.

As Gonk pushes through the thicket and overgrown vines, his attention is suddenly drawn to the sound of clicking emanating from thick bush up ahead. He places Ann on a high branch, and goes to investigate the source of the noise. Ann tries to find a way down, but it is too treacherous. She also doesn't want to break a nail.

Gonk moves closer to the bushes. The clicking sounds become louder. He breaks off a large piece of wood to use as a club. Without warning, two giant hamsters leap out to attack. One jumps on to Gonk's back, trying to dig its vicious teeth into his neck. Gonk throws the persistent rodent over his shoulders and starts to beat it with his club. The hamster gets back on to its feet, but Gonk grabs its head, and forces the wooden club into its mouth. With several fierce pushes, the hamster's jaw snaps and the beast collapses.

The other hamster leaps at Gonk's face. Gonk catches the hamster, and swings it around several times before letting go. The hamster propels into the sky, tumbling over and over towards the horizon. After several seconds, a distant noise of brush and trees breaking, can be heard.

Gonk returns to Ann Darrow. She screams as he grabs her with his mighty hands....


Thursday, March 03, 2005

EXCLUSIVE! Released Conceptual Art For Gonk

Today, I popped into WETA, due to having some freedom from filming. As I wandered around, sharing endless lengthy showbiz tales with the very busy WETA staff, I came across some early conceptual designs. Knowing that my loyal fans would love a glimpse, I rolled up a couple, and stuffed them into my shirt.

The first shows a very early design for Gink Gonk. Whilst he has gone through some changes on the way, I am sure you can see what a marvel he will be in the movie.

Early Conceptual Art Of Gonk

The second design is of the control room inside the Gonk Marionette. It shows the cramped conditions that Andy Serkis and I have had to work in. You can also see the location of the nipples, where we insert our heads, as well as the various strings, pullies and pedals. WETA has even included Andy's penchant for bell bottoms and winkle-picker boots.

Conceptual art for the inside of Gonk

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

BREAKING NEWS! New Image Of Gonk

This Gonk image was released today by Peter Jackson. You can see another video snippet by CLICKING HERE!

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Question/Answer Session About Gink Gonk

Mr Proghead, USA: Clearly Mr. Jackson would have been doing his audience a disservice by keeping you dressed as a big, hairy ape nipple for the entire film. I'm glad he wisened up. If your plate isn't already too full, perhaps he will consider reshooting some scenes with you in the role of Gonk's navel as well.

Sir Richard Karlson Ogilvy: The Navel was discussed at the beginning of this project, but was deemed an impractical location. The nipples were chosen because they provide the best visual vantage position for the two controllers (Andy Serkis and I) inside the 60 foot marionette.

Of course, I am NO FX engineer. I am only a simple, legendary thespian, and so I could be wrong about the technical logistics.

Thank you for your interest in the machinations of the Gonk Marionette. Both Andy and I are delighted to discuss the amazing technology of giant prosthetic behemoth.

I believe, Peter will be releasing a video diary shortly, which will detail the difficulties that both Andy and I have had in bringing to life the marionette. It has been no easy task, but the results will speak for themselves.

Billy Trowel, 9, Australia: Is Gink Gonk going to be scary?

Sir Richard Karlson Ogilvy: Well, how absolutely charming to receive this question from someone so young.

Is Gink Gonk going to be scary? Well, dear boy, apart from when Gonk tears off the arms of a sailor, squishes a man in a blue-striped shirt, beheads a newspaper boy, fillets a Skull Islander, and impales a pilot on the needle at the top of the Empire State Building, you could say that it's more a family film with comedic moments, as opposed to a scary horror movie. You won't find any chainsaws, machetes or whisks in this two hours of movie magic.

John Rambo, 61, USA: What have you found most difficult on this production, Sir Richard?

Sir Richard Karlson Ogilvy: I always appreciate respect. You sound like you may have been a soldier.

This is a very good question. For me, I take every role as a challenge. If it were easy, I would have left this business a long time ago. This particular film has been more difficult than most, due to the various parts that Peter has given me to portray. The Seagull, which appears early on in the movie, was very trying. I had quite a miserable day filming that scene, and it took time for me to achieve the vision that Peter had for the character.

If I must choose, however, I would have to say that Gonk's Left Nipple has been quite overwhelming at times. Just having your head sunk into that rubber teet for any length of time, is claustrophobic and hot. However, with Andy's good humour, the suffering has been enormously reduced.

Controlling the 60 foot prosthetic behemoth was difficult at times. It was inevitable that the wrong rudder would be pushed or wrong string pulled, so that we ended up with the Gonk Marionette doing an Irish jig, rather than a grab. That said, Andy and I have finally mastered all those many strings, pullies and rudders, and moving Gonk just feels like an extension of ourselves.

Che Guevara, Argentina: What's it like working with Peter Jackson? It must be friggin' cool, man! Peter Jackson ROCKS, dude!

Sir Richard Karlson Ogilvy: Well, I have worked with some of the greats: Dave Lean, Stan Kubrick, Al Hitchcock, Stevie Spielberg, Marty Scorsese, Di Lynch, Syd Lumet... the list goes on. But, I must say, this has been the best crew I have ever worked with. Simply marvellous. You don't get this kind of passion in Hollywood, I tell you!

Pete's an absolute darling. And what a fabulous ice-skater! It has been lovely staying with Pete and Fran through the duration of this production. I most certainly hope to find a role or two in his future projects.

*Send in your questions about Gink Gonk, and Sir Richard Karlson Ogilvy will try to find time in his busy schedule to answer.*